If an alien race appeared over Earth and said, “Hey, we have this great new technology that we can give you. It will allow you to transport yourself from one place to another instantly, but every year we will randomly kill 50,000 (as a fee).” Would you accept their offer?
No, you probably wouldn’t, but the joke here is we already have this technology. They’re called cars and they kill 50,000 people on U.S. roadways every year. According to some, seemingly credible sources your lifetime odds of dying in a car accident are 1 in 84. I’ve been in multiple, serious, car accidents (as a passenger and driver) and Community Chest is running low on “GET OUT OF ACCIDENT FREE” cards.
It’s not enough to set speed limits and the airbag has diminishing safety returns as your speed increases. I’ve heard driving referred to as a “necessary evil,” but I think it’s an unnecessary risk. You shouldn’t have to put your life in jeopardy going to Abercrombie & Fitch and the Apple store at the mall. Let’s be clear: I’m not opposed to killing people who shop at Abercrombie & Fitch. I just think they should suffer a more humiliating death than a single-car collision with a telephone pole.
I have a solution to eliminating automobile deaths. I would issue a mandate that all automobiles would have a top speed of 40 MPH. Every car would be fitted with a governing device that prohibits the car from going faster than 40 MPH.
We obviously can’t curb drinking and driving with stiffer penalties and there will always be stupid or inexperienced drivers on the road. If someone is going to run a red light and hit me let them do it at 40 MPH instead of 70.
Stop crying! I’m not encroaching on your inalienable rights. You can misinterpret the right to bear arms, but nowhere in the Constitution will you find the right to put my life at risk because you’re a 19 yr old douche-bag who put more modifications on a Dodge Neon than the car is worth. So what if it takes you 20 more minutes to get to the new Hanana Montana movie?
What would the police do if they found someone who has overridden the governing device? The same thing they do when they find someone in possession of an illegal firearm: charge them with a felony. A car is a 2-ton killing machine and no less of a weapon than a gun. I couldn’t be more serious about this.
This entry was written by , posted on January 18, 2010 at 11:22 pm.
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