I generally try to avoid talking about news or quoting other blogs, but Yahoo is reporting an entire flock of birds just fell out of the sky. It sounds like the start of some bad Jay Leno joke: “So, hey get this, 75 birds just fell out of the sky…” At which point Kevin Eubanks would chime in with a laugh and say “C’mon Jay, really?”
But ignore that. 75 birds just fell out of the fucking sky. Do you know what the odds of that are? There aren’t odds on that. There are two things you can’t bet on: (1) Baseball, and (2) Birds falling out of the sky. It doesn’t happen. They have fucking wings!
I’ve put together an extensive list of possible causes:
- The world is ending.
Yahoo doesn’t necessarily deny this conclusion though they suggest the the flock became startled trying to escape a predator (such as a Hawk) and crashed landed into a driveway. Yah, yah, sure. That makes about as much sense as Col. Mustard in the Billiards room with the wrench. (Hint: It’s never Col. Mustard you can just cross him off at the beginning of the game.) I remember the last time I was trying escape from Pete Tardge, the neighborhood bully, I just said “Fuck it” and ran head first into a concrete wall to avoid him. Basically, Yahoo is calling this an accidental suicide.
Who was their leader? David Koresh?
This may be the biggest cover-up since Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Apparently, 5 of the Starlings survived the fall, but were later put down because of severe injuries. 1 of those 5 had to have been talking. And according to Wikipedia Starlings can mimic “human speech patterns”. So, there’s no question they were talking. But what were they saying?
Were they attacked by a UFO? It’s not totally far fetched. I know, I know, they’ve traveled all this way and must have all this technology why would they attack a flock of birds? So, I ask you this: why do they always abduct a random town idiot from the middle of nowhere? Everyone who has ever come forward from a UFO abduction is a redneck, a moron, or both. It’s never someone with a college degree or job.
There is little more to this story I can offer. I’m sorry, but I must go stock up on water and canned tuna.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Very much like “FlashForward” but on a smaller scale.. I guess it’s an interesting story but we have to be skeptical about it too. Quite mysterious that the witness on BBC News said she heard a ‘wooshing’ noise just before it happened.
You’re the second person, though technically you were the first person, to mention Flash Forward to me regarding this.
The show looks interesting, but it’s from the creators of Lost. Dear God, no! I can’t take another series that just bombards me with questions and no answers. I watch Lost religiously, but I’ve hated it for 5 seasons.
Earthquakes evrywhere, Birds falling from the sky, Poles shifting, Icebergs moving and crashing, Climate Change, Solar storms, UFO’s, ……….I’d rather be on the island with Kate!
Haha Pete Targe. I bet that guy is a winner now.
I must admit that it is the picture that truly brought this blog post to life. Such talent, Mairead!