It’s been purported that I’ve said “I would cut my own ear off like Van Gough rather than use Twitter.” Good thing I’m all talk. My friend Ryan used to say when he rolled twenty deep; he rolled with fifteen knives (because some of his friends are pussies). I’m one of those friends. Comments on my Facebook are:
There’s Ryan again with his “Thumbs down” and I know he’s right, but I’m a slave to trends. I only have six Twitter followers at the moment. Business will pick up. I’m sort of a celebrity on Facebook with 200+ friends (12 of whom I consider friends). Right now I’m logged into Facebook, Twitter, Skype, Gmail, Hotmail, AOL IM, MSN Messenger, two forums, and Ventrilo. These are just 10 programs I use to keep in contact with people while I’m online. Why can’t we just pick one application to all use? It’s like peanut butter. We have half a dozen brands and each brand has three different styles. Why can’t we all just agree JIF Extra Crunchy is the best and move on? After all, choosy moms choose JIF.
The problem right now is I’m actually out of peanut butter and need to go to the store, but it’s such a process to “unplug”. It’s a 15 step process in order to go to the store:
- Make up mind to go to store
- Check to see if we need anything else
- Assuming my girlfriend isn’t home, text her to see if she needs anything
- Take down Twitter status that says “Out of Extra Crunchy peanut butter”
- Replace Twitter status with “Going to buy Extra Crunchy peanut butter”
- Repeat process for Facebook
- Set my Gmail and AOL IM status to “Away”
- Receive text back from girlfriend; she didn’t need anything
- Adjust Gmail and AOL IM status to “Be right back” because I don’t want people to think I’ll be gone for too long in case there is a party and I don’t get invited because I’m “Away”
- Tweet that the line is really long from the store
- Take a photo of odd shaped fruit for my Flickr account (while I wait)
- Return home and update all my statuses to “I’m back, is there a party somewhere?”
- Upload Flickr photos
- Tweet Flickr photos
- Put peanut butter away
I was out of bread too…@#$%!
You gave into Twitter!!! why? stick to Facebook with all of your 200 “friends”.