Some child stars are cute. For example, I was a baseball prodigy in t-ball. Unassisted triple plays, grand slams, and catching the ball in my hat earned me the nickname “Hot Dog”. However, despite my natural ability for the game I never hit a growth spurt and by high school I still looked like I was on the t-ball team. Other child stars make you want to go back in time and kill their parents. Like Jake Lloyd, the kid who played young Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars I: The Phantom Menance.
Then there are the child stars like Lindsay Lohan. She was adorable in the remake of The Parent Trap, but after the success of Mean Girls became a poster child for MADD, AA, and a regular fixture on the celebrity rehab tour.
I love parents who push their kids — too far. You either get greatness (Tiger Woods) or train wrecks (Britney Spears). And I think I just discovered the next child star train wreck: Daves Highway. They’re a musical group made up of three siblings: Delaney (15), Zachary (13) and Erika (12). With a push from their parents they’ve developed a following on YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter. Check out this crazyness:
YouTube is full of aspiring child singers. Some, like Justin Bieber, have made the transition from YouTube celebrity to actual celebrity. But there is something not genuine about these Daves Highway videos. I have to assume their parents are exploiting them (sort of like balloon boy). In fact, there is a 10% chance these kids have been kidnapped and are actually sending us a S.O.S. message. Can anybody play these backwards?
In all likelihood these kidnapped kids are going to become huge. Their popularity with young Christians is going to explode and they’ll have a #1 song on the Billboard Top 40. They’ll appear on the American Music Awards (AMAs) and during their acceptance speech probably get cut off by Kayne. Afterwards they’ll enter a downward spiral of drugs, free thinking, and end up on VH1′s Where Are They Now in 10 years.
By then Zachary (23) will likely land in a Methamphetamine rehab clinic after overdosing and attempting to rob a 7-Eleven with a Nerf Blaster that demonic voices convinced him was a ray gun. In an effort to get his life back he’ll turn to Scientology — now the official religion of the United States largely due to celebrity endorsements and late night infomercials. Tom Cruise, now considered by Scientologists as The Supreme Being, calls Zachary’s recovery a “testament to thetan” and also notes Zachary has discovered the 8th Dynamic of Life after a sizable donation.
Delaney (25) in act of pure rebellion towards her parents and church will probably marry Miley Cyrus during a live USTREAM broadcast. Miley and Delany will form their own band and sign with the YouTube summer tour, formerly called Warped Tour. However, the two never take the stage because they become so distracted making out and updating their Facebook, MySpace, and Twitter statuses that they completely forget why they’re in a bus in Cherry Hill, New Jersey.
Surprisingly, Erika (22) may be able to overcome the pitfalls of her siblings, finish college, and become a productive member of our society. It’s not too late. However, at the age of 16 she’ll need to file for legal emancipation from her overbearing parents and defriend both her brother and sister from Facebook.
We can only hope!
This entry was written by , posted on April 2, 2010 at 4:46 pm.
They are no comparison to Lindsay Lohan, Brittney Spears who from the start didn’t really have a good family foundation….just saying. “We love music. We love to sing and perform. We love Jesus and America, too. We love Chris Tomlin and hope to meet him someday.” Either Lindsay nor Brittney did anything for God’s glory. Daves’ kids are follower of Christ…
CORRECTION!!
I meant Lindsay Lohan and Brittney Spears are no comparison to the Daves siblings…
You know who else was following Christ? Your great-great-great-grandparents when they killed all the Indians. Jerks.
oh what a wee little man
Yah, I’m 5’8″ NOW. But I’m drinking milk everyday. I’m hoping to hit 5’10″.
You must have really had some time on your hands to think this one up. I kept waiting for the punch line. These kids are talented Christian youngsters. Please don’t dishonor them or their parents (or yourself, for that matter) by laying all these future sins on them. This article is sad and should never have been made public.
What makes you mock something so beautiful? These kids have lovely harmonies. I have an appreciation for the blending of voices “all in the family”. So, they are kids now- nobody knows where they’ll wind up. But you seem to have a disdain for their clean-cut image. Why? I hope they become a hit with teens who love harmonious tones and their message.
Yah, basically, we agree on everything P. Tossey. I’m glad you liked the blog. Thanks for the feedback!
You nay-sayers are just gross. Why can’t you be happy for them, even if it is just for now. Why can’t you believe that they might actually grow up to be kind, caring adults that love God? Why is it necessary to tear others down? I know. It’s because you are small-minded, hard-hearted, ugly people. Go home, get a life, and pray for forgiveness. What goes around, comes around.
I love the new arrangement of this old familiar song. I was surprised to see the Light in this dark place. Quite the oxymoron – emphasis on MORON. Thanks for posting it.
If you want to know why people like the author try to tear down what is beautiful and wholesome, and celebrate that which is deviant and twisted, it’s simply this: There are just bad people in the world. Here is an essay that will explain a lot about such people. http://www.americanthinker.com/2010/06/deliver_us_from_evil_1.html
There is more to history than any of will know in this lifetime. Yes, my ancestors did kill off a lot of peace-loving indians that never attacked, raped, tortured, etc. . .members of other tribes. The writer has done well in his grammar studies, and is unfortunately too verbose to land print with any legitimate publications. To the writer; please continue to write, because you are talented, but even though the news media provides us with mostly ‘dark’ tales, just remember that they’re doing that to pay the bills, and the reality is there is so much more good in the world. I guarantee a soul has been touched by this singing group; and that is exactly how it’s supposed to work. Peace be with you brother.
I might be a a soulless moron. I may even need to pray for forgiveness, but I am NOT verbose. I’m concise. In fact, that sentence used to say “I’m very concise” until I shortened it.
These teenagers are quite talented and have a wonderful love of God. Why in the world would you write such a negative article about them? Why not write about those singers and movie stars who are into drugs and sex? You really must hate your life. Too bad.
Those with little or NO talent tear down those who do to make them feel important, when in fact they aren;t!
I was in choir in middle school with Delaney and she is the sweetest person anyone at that school had ever met. She is a beauty inside in out and knowing her for years, I know she won’t be the person you’re expecting to see in 10 years. Sorry, but your prediction is incredibly absurd, negative, and kind of sad. Have some faith. They’re good kids. I love them
I am going to pray for you, because, if you died today you’d spend an eternity in help. That is awful!! Worse than any possible worst nightmare! We really need to consider how our words and actions hurt others, especiallychildren, not to mention the children of the maker of this universe! He made you, too whether you like it or not. I dare you to pray and ask for forgiveness! He might just change your life to pure bliss! Sounds like you are so unhappy deep down, to find your fulfiillment in criticizing children. You will be prayed over daily. Love In Christ, Emily
Correction from previous post: spend an eternity in Hell! Help is what you need from Jesus!
Hey Emily, thanks for the prayers. I really appreciate it. Also, would you let Santa know I want a new bike for Christmas.
Although I don’t know the Dave’s Highway folks personally, as I understand it, the three kids started singing together in the back of the car on road trips. It very quickly became apparent to mom and dad that the three kids had some pretty amazing harmonies, and they encouraged them to sing in church together. The word got out about them and they were asked to sing other places as well. I don’t think there’s anything phoney about them at all…yeah, it’s obvious the parents are behind the production value of their videos, but who cares? The kids seem to love singing together, and a lot of people love listening to them. Why the hate, dude?
Well, I guess it was because I was kidnapped myself at age 8. I was held captive in a windowless shack for 6 months during a harsh Minnesota winter forced to manufacture knock-off Air Jordans. I was fed only once a day and worst of all it was Apple Cinnamon oatmeal. The only oatmeal I like is Maple Brown Sugar. I didn’t even mind being kidnapped and exploited, but I got f**king pissed about the oatmeal. Eventually I escaped, but being forced to eat oatmeal I didn’t like changed me, man. So, I suppose that’s why the hate.
So, I guess what you’re saying is that you’re a fucking asshole who would stoop to dogging a Christian juvenile trio in order to gain hits to your website? Do I have that right?
Yuuup! I’d do it if they were Jewish too (just for the record).
OK, so you hate Christians AND Jews?
Oh Dave, oh Dave, I don’t hate Christians or Jews or even you. I do, however, reserve the right to make fun of anyone I choose. Whether that be Atheists, Buddhists, 90s rap groups that wear their clothes backwards, Kevin James, the plot holes in Back to the Future, or kids who st-st-st-utter. Please note, I draw the line at Islamic extremists. I don’t make fun of them. They’ll f**k you up.
You are so off on the Daves. I am friends with them, and they are honestly some of the nicest people I know! They are very humble about any of the fame they might have. They sing because they want to use their amazing talent that God gave them to bring Him glory. I am not going to bash you and say your an awful person for voicing your opinion; I am just going to tell you that you are way off and that you shouldn’t assume the worst in people.