FAQ
- What was it like being on a cast of Two Guys, A Girl & a Pizza Place?
- What happened to ALF?
- Should Charlie from Utah really have bid $1 on his showcase showdown?
- Who’s that kid with the Oreo cookie?
- Who would win in a fight: Ronnie or Jared from Subway?
- Given two extra seconds, do you think Ryan could’ve picked the nost, grabbed the flag and won the Mustang Convertible on Family Double Dare?
- Should Alaska be considered a state?
- If she’s nice, does it matter what she looks like?
What was it like being on a cast of Two Guys, A Girl & a Pizza Place?
Contrary to popular belief and the current rumor circulating, I was never actually on the cast. I did however receive an email from nbc_girl139@hotmail.com offering me a role (as well as pictures of her and her friends).
Although NBC canceled the popular sitcom in 1990, reruns are still being show in Australia, Canada, Ireland, Israel and Ukraine. Cancellation of the program followed rumors that suggested Alf was not actually from the planet Melmac, but rather South Central L.A. Seeking anonymity after a lackluster final season Alf retired to Las Vegas where he moonlighted with Chandler from Friends on a public access TV version of Three’s Company.
Should Charlie from Utah really have bid $1 on his showcase showdown?
The answer to this is a definitive “No”. You would have initially guessed, given his uncanny knack for guessing the prices of assorted brands of toothpaste and deodorant that he would’ve foreseen that the actual retail price of Jenny’s showcase was $16,253. I mean, 2 jet skis, a trip to Cancun, that golf set and motor home; you can’t wage the farm on Jenny going over in that situation – what was he thinking?
Who’s that kid with the Oreo cookie?
Unfortunately, that kid is Six from the early 90’s TV show Blossom. Diagnosed with the common coal miner’s disease pneumonoultramicroscopicsilacolvocanokoniosis, she entered a downward-spiral of heroin, Gatorade and Oreo cookies. Nabisco was unavailable for comment, but neanderthalic brother Joey was quoted as saying “Woah!”
Who would win in a fight: Ronnie or Jared from Subway?
First, it is apparent that Ronnie is either Snoop Dogg himself or a prominent member of the Dogg Pound. Despite clear discrepancies in grammar, color and height, Ronnie has yet to be available while Snoop is on tour. At first chalked up to coincidence his inclusion of “Bling-bling” and “I rock the six-four” in breakfast table conversation has raised eyebrows. As for his ability to kick Jared’s ass (ignoring the Clay Henry factor), I’ll answer your question with another question: How many aboriginals do you see modeling?
I get asked this question a lot. Had his fake sister not taken 1/3 of a millennium to get her tramp ass down the tongue slide he would’ve had at least another 7-10 seconds to work with. Mark Summers himself, though suffering from manic depression, psychosis, social anxiety disorder, hypothermia and post-partum depression, cleared the matter up in his statement “Would you believe, his thumb? They’re gonna take the physical challenge.”
Should Alaska be considered a state?
The first question to ask is “Who lives in Alaska?” Well, for starters, Maculay Culkin, Pat Sajack, Tom Arnold, Sarah Palin, Hilary Swank and DJ Tanner’s whore friend Kimmie. Clearly none of these inhabitants warrants citizenship status. As for the history of Alaska one needs to look no farther than WWII, where the bastard Aleuts teamed up with Canada and Mexico to narrowly defeat the United States in the Battle of Michigan. First you allow them to become a state, then you’re watching Friends munching on popcorn when some half crazed Alaskan screaming some Mediterranean dead language slams through your plate-glass window half naked in an ape suit covered in honey. Next thing you know money is missing off the table and your daughter is knocked up. “Should Alaska be considered a state,” you ask? Maybe the more important question is “Can you ever trust an Alaskan?”
If she’s nice, does it matter what she looks like?
Let’s get serious, of course it matters what she looks like. It has been convincingly shown, via statistics, that people who say “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” are usually married to ugly people. Besides, beauty actually loads on a Cherub Sprite in Morrindor, the Adreyatic Staff loads in the eye of the beholder. Furthermore, what you need, my friend, is a somewhat cute girl who’s very nice and who isn’t ashamed to get breast implants and give up her job to work out at the gym all day for you.