I have been criticized in the past, mostly by myself, that I’m all talk and no action. Jay-Z famously referred to me in his song “99 Problems” as the type that was “loud as a motorbike, but wouldn’t bust a grape in a fruit fight.”
I’ve been a strong proponent of “friend cleansing” on Facebook. In a previous blog I said, “Farmville has one useful purpose on Facebook: to identify the friends you need to defriend.”
If I’m going to be a leader of this cause, I realize it’s not enough to just step up to the microphone. It’s not enough to organize the parade. I need to be leading it. Of course, you’ll be walking and twirling a baton or beating a drum while I’m driven in a convertible with the top down waving semi-graciously to everyone who has turned out to see me.
I can’t ask you to make sacrifices without making any of my own. Actions, they say, are louder than words.
So.
The other day I received three emails in the span of 16 hours from a friend trying to give me a llama or some retarded shit. I can’t be bothered with feeding a cat and I was too lazy to keep my Tamagotchi alive. Where would I even keep a llama, dumbass? I thought I had turned these notifications off. Farmville is like Robocop — it can’t be killed. I did, however, kill Melinda from my friends list:
Look, being friends with me is a privilege not a right. You want to continue to see my hilarious status updates? I know you do…then don’t send me crap from your farm. Unless those melons are 36-24-36.
This entry was written by , posted on March 18, 2010 at 8:24 am.
I like to use in the milder version of friend cleansing, friend hiding. It’s like a virtual game of hide and seek where they disappear and I go inside and play xbox.
Who needs friends when you can sit alone in your room and drink?
Who needs a room when you can huddle under a bridge and drink?
Touche. A nice retort indeed.