I hate sharing. I must’ve been out sick the day they covered sharing in Kindergarten. I love show and tell (I even like kiss and tell). But I don’t like people touching my stuff. My sister’s permanently bruised shoulder can attest to that fact.
The only thing worse than sour Gummi Bears is when people touch my PC. My girlfriend is convinced I like my PC more than her. It’s debatable. After 3 years she’s fairly well trained and rarely asks to “Check [her] mail” on my PC.
Unfortunately, her laptop is being repaired and she has been borrowing my work laptop at night. I’m not really OK with that, but since I don’t own the laptop…I’m letting it slide. But I won’t tell her my password (I type it in for her). I guard all my passwords carefully. A couple of times my girlfriend has tried to look at my ATM pin in the supermarket and I’ve had to ask for store security.
Last Thursday I had my laptop at work when I noticed she left her Gmail account logged in. Naturally, I abused this power:
- I ran a search for “Jason”, but didn’t find anything out of the ordinary.
- I searched “meet”. In case she was arranging any meetings with secret lovers – she wasn’t.
- I searched “CIA” to see if she was a spy – she’s not.
- I tried “sedative-laced milkshake” to see if she’s planning to kill me – she doesn’t appear to be (maybe after this).
Once I realized she wasn’t up to anything fishy, I said to myself “Self, how could I make money from this?” It would nice, I thought, to squeeze some cash out of her. But how? I pondered for a while before hatching a truly diabolical plan. There was no way I could ask her, but what if she told herself to do it? If I wrote an email (from her account) and sent it to her it would appear as if she wrote herself an email. So, that’s exactly what I did. Her future self sent her the following email:
I also thought it would be a dick move if her future self also screwed her out of that nights lottery numbers. I mean, look, instead of typing “…oh no, I’m fading away” she could’ve just typed the other 3 lottery numbers. It would’ve been easier.
I got home Thursday and asked her for $500, and bam! Look at me now…
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
2008 called. It wants its technology back
Sorry Nigel, the caption contest has ended for this month.
Seriously… the future e-mail bit is priceless. I might borrow this idea if I ever have the opportunity where this happens to me.
Awesome. Props to you.
Also, I am jealous of your iPhone.
that’s fantastic. Two simple words there. One clear message of fantasticness. (which is ‘totally’ a word)