Me > Mii

My Wii Mii is a poor representation of my natural athleticism. I’m actually embarrassed other Miis presume that to be me. Two days ago, my Mii, also named Jason, lost to my girlfriend’s sister in tennis. It’s ridiculous…I’ve never even lost a game of Monopoly to a girl before.

Then last night “Jason” lost my pro status in bowling. Now, granted I was barely over the 1,000 point threshold, but my Mii completely succumed to the pressure. At one point he dropped my rank into the 800’s. 800 is somewhere between the skill level of Nick Jonas and that skateboarding dog. (Actually the skateboarding dog is probably amazing at video games. Pretend I said the two-legged dog who walks upright.)

Having the word pro appear next to your name is one of the highest honors you can receive in any virtual environment. It’s right up there with acquiring the Sword of a Thousand Truths in World of Warcraft. It’s not just about the recognition either; you also get to use a glitzy, diamond covered ball. (That’s what she said!)

My Mii couldn’t get anything going tonight. Even the other Miis were laughing at me including Big Al whose high score is 92. At one point in the video below my Mii is so stupid he pauses the game mid-swing:

I also find it odd that when my Mii plays Wii baseball he doesn’t hit a home run every time – like real life. My cousin Cassie, who in addition to being a girl is only like 15, has repeatedly beat my Mii in boxing. Yah, that would happen.

My Mii doesn’t get much better in Wii Resort either. I can barely canoe, can’t control the jet ski, I’m 0-9 in sword fighting and of all things lost to a co-worker in table tennis. Are you kidding me? I could beat the same co-worker on a real table with my left hand while my right paddles a canoe fighting off jet-ski pirates wielding swords. No, really.

Tagged as: mii, wii